I can relate, sort of, that is why I highlighted those parts. My dad is still alive but has never been my dad. He was my male cousin’s dad and likes my own husband better than he likes me. He has never “loved” me, ever! He would take my male cousin to the mall and drop him off to spend time with his friends but I had to literally beg him to do the same for me. He gets my husband a birthday card almost every year for his birthday and puts money into it but he never gets me a card or anything, and the messed up thing about it is, my dad and I share a birthday. I have to tell him Happy Birthday first or he throws a fit like a child and I don’t get a Happy Birthday from him until I tell him first. I don’t even care anymore about this though. My husband can’t stand him because of the way he treats my mother and me both but I am so used to it because it has been this way my whole life. So, yeah, I sort of relate except my dad quit drinking before I was born, when he married my mom and he is still alive. Except, he has never been a father to me. I don’t and never have had, and never will have, those child-father memories either. I am ok with it now. I accepted it a long time ago and I just don’t care anymore. I think there is a story here that you have inspired me to write. I am adding it to my ideas notebook. Thanks for sharing this!