A short letter to my past self, my younger self
If only you knew then what you know now, you might have gotten through high school a little better. Of course, you probably still would have quit because you don’t need a high school diploma or even a college degree for what you are making money with now. But, maybe you would have wanted to make your parent’s proud of you instead of them lecturing you all the time as they do now. Maybe you would have wanted to make your sister like you more instead of how she barely talks to you now. I don’t think staying in high school would have really mattered when it comes to our family though.
Life isn’t bad although you quit school. You are now married to the love of your life and have been with him for 21 years. You have been writing professionally for 12 years online. You can’t have kids but you have accepted that and have dogs instead, 7 of them!
I know you are going through a hard time because our brother was killed when you were just 12, but it does get better. I promise it does. But, you are also going through a hard time because our aunt and cousin were also killed nine months after our brother was killed. Time will ease the pain, I promise. It doesn’t take the pain completely away but it does ease it. It also helps that you have a loving husband who is always there for you no matter what. You will get through the fact that we lost them and then our grandfather and grandmother, who we were very close to. But, when they say time heals all wounds, it really does. You will feel better after a while. You will never forget about any of them because you love them and always will but you will feel better. You will get married and have your dogs and a 29-year-old stepson who is now married to the love of his life and lives in California with her. You and he get close enough to be, big sister and little brother, although you are stepmom and stepson, the age difference isn’t that much. He is only a year younger than little Arnie and Arnie is only 8 years younger than you and he is young enough to be your little brother instead of your nephew but he is your sister’s oldest child.
And, although you don’t become a mother to your own children, being a stepmom is pretty awesome too. Especially when you have a stepson like Little Frankie because he is an awesome person. Just as awesome as his dad is! You love his dad so much you will do anything for him and he loves you so much, he will kill for you. He has said so many times. He has wanted to kill a few clients of yours who ripped you off. Oh and by the way, when you do get older and start writing, you will get ripped off a few times but it is a lesson you will learn along the way. A lesson that every writer most likely learns along the way of their writing career. It is a hard lesson to learn but you will have to learn it while you are starting your writing career. Even after you have been at it for about 12 years, you will get ripped off and even stalked a little bit by one of them. The one who stalks you is a little on the crazy side but don’t be afraid because your husband tells you not to be and he threatens to kill the guy and he stops.
Everything will be alright, I promise. You and your husband will have your ups and downs, but things will get better for you both. Keep your chin up and keep moving because as long as you have your best friend in life, your husband, things will be perfectly fine. As long as he is by your side, you will be alright. And you two won’t be splitting up ever because of the love you have for each other still after 21 years. 21 years is a long time to be with someone but you will know once you meet him that he is the one for you. Now, go live your life and you will see what I mean!